There are two types of people in this world. People I like, and the rest don’t exist for me.
It is very important for me to cultivate my presence in a positive ground for people whom I feel close to. I always wanted to bring happiness in to people’s lives, and fill the emptiness in their hearts some way or the other. However, thankfully I have always known the fine line between being positive and being someone’s bitch. It is very important to know that when your goal is to go out and make a difference.
Sometimes, when I am not in a great mood and I see a friend or someone I know, my demeanor does not show my internal state of mind at all. In that moment, I am someone who has a smile on her face and cracks a joke every minute. I rarely ever remember a time I ran in to someone I knew and that person did not stand by me and laugh their head off at least once.
When I sit in the coffee shop, a lot of people I know walk up to me. Some are there to study, some to enjoy a cup of coffee just like me. What they all share in common is that they all laugh. They all walk away from me with a smile on their face.
Sometimes I think of all the smiles I have put on people’s faces throughout the course of my life, from my school days throughout the years in college. I sit by my window sometimes and remember how “cute”, “funny” and “hilarious” are the only adjectives anyone has described me with, maybe for some reason.
I feel happy in my own skin, confident in the person I am. I am not passive. I am not the person who makes the ice in a gathering. I crush it. I spread warmth. In many ways it makes me feel more human, more close to nature. It makes me feel like a lava cake with a warm center. A real woman. Who likes to laugh and make others laugh around her, entertain people with food, drink and company.
Being soulful has always been very important to me. I always imagined myself living a life where the little circle I had was filled with warmth and love. Womanhood was very important to me, and living up to what my idea of a real woman is.
A real woman – strong, independent, loving toward the right people and in the right moment. Kind to those in need, and compassionate. Someone who keeps her word, and cultivates warmth in all areas of life. Free spirited, confident and fun to be around. A loving mother but a logical one too. Nurturing but not cheesy or clingy. Expressive but not a drag. Someone who loves to dance, loves nature, the outdoors and can sow back a button on to his shirt, or operate a lawn mower. Someone who can bake a cake and put food on the table, or prepare a grand feast if need and occasion be. Someone who is fun amongst her peers, respectful and delightful amongst elders. She must be a positive force to work with, smart and shoulder to shoulder with her colleagues in the world outside her doorstep.
The real woman is a lot of things, but mostly she is just a simple girl living in a modern world. She likes to multiply the positives and divide out the negatives. She is not a loner, nor is she super popular. She is just herself; stupid at times, but mostly just walking through life with pride.