It is so lethal to harbor expectations, I cannot imagine how I even find myself in spots where I bring myself to develop any.

I hate the idea of dependence even though a completely independent life is almost near to impossible. I just don’t want to be growing hope in my backyard for nothing. What is the opposite of hope? It could either be paranoia or realism, depending on who you are. Often times I find myself lurking on both sides of the line that divides the two. Mind you, it is not a very clear line to begin with, but it is there anyway.

Hope said that I will find a lot. Pessimism said I will find nothing. But realism – it said that I will find a little. I found a little. What do I do now? Do I stick to this line of thought like an aunt and continue? A realist would also think that things are going to get better from here onwards, wouldn’t he? Or would he think that things are going to get worse? Well, we don’t really know what realism is now, do we? Is it the line that divides utopia from hell? Or is the space between the two lines that end utopia and hell? Or is it the line you draw yourself when Utopia is on your right, and Hell is on your left?

In thermodynamics, entropy is a measure of instability of a system. Realism is a lot like entropy. Realism is a property of the system we call life, I think. It is not dependent on the path it takes, it is dependent on the state. So, what state are you in? And what’s the realism of it?


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