The Other Side

I tried and now I feel I have earned the right to say that I tried beyond the best of my abilities. That’s it, I give up. There is only so much you can do, right?

After a certain point, I find it frustrating to be banging my head in a wall consistently. I am a very simple person.  A little bit of mystery is enticing, I admit. I do like challenges, but I’m not sure if I appreciate solving the impossible. How the hell do you ever get around it. You dig and you dig endlessly and you get nowhere. Some people, some things and some ideas are just impenetrable. They LITERALLY have no hope. You can throw a tantrum, complain, blackmail, give them the silent treatment…Hell, even jump off a cliff… and they won’t blink. They won’t do anything.

There is only so much time and effort you can put in to certain things. You know what they do to cars that are completely out of hope? They total them. They do that because calculating and undoing the damage on every God Damn dent is too much work. Let me be honest here. Life is short, and I want the best of the best things. I am not a handyman, and even if I do fix a few things here and there, I cannot fix things that are beyond repair. Maybe I should try and learn to live with them in my backyard, or maybe I should wait till spring to do the cleaning.

Something that happened today really reminded me the importance of time. When my tits are saggy and my nipples have reached my belly button, I want to look back at a life where I exclaim : Gosh am I not happy I walked away from the right messes on the right time?!! In life, you will either find yourself with your testicle stooping in to the crevice of your grave, or you will find your saggy nutsacks being held up high — because you built your life to do that for you.

I’m sorry everybody — I might just cross over the line of my petty promises. I might just disappear from a few people’s lives or I might just crush a tiny hope here and there.

I’m running off this ramp in vain

I’ll be spreading out my wings

not knowing if they’ll ever open

I might just land on this face of mine

I might never try to fly again

But decades from now

Looking at scars of my great fall

I shall not wonder if, why or whether

the grass is greener or life could be better

For everytime my soul has gone curious

As to what there is making me this anxious

It has held that unseen stranger’s hand in trust

It has given away love in paths of lust

Making lots of heads turn around

Some astonished and some with a frown

A few friends from the other end of my mirror

A few foes whom I once adored with vigor

Some bites out of me

some blood on my teeth

A few things coming to me too late

A few too many sorrows to celebrate

Time will run out but not the desire

to run far off and torch the past with fire

The last step to my full circle

is a step away from the door of my birth

Tired and weary but roaming free

I will question my very own sanity

Is this my dream or another reality?

Is this all that I was meant to see?

Is this what death is, a longing so deep

Pulling away from the ramp you once leaped

My time is up, but just once more

Let me find the answers I look for

Life will end, but not my quest

I will not however, regret or fret

For I would have answered my very

basis of all curiosity…

I would have known the feeling that

I have re-enacted like an acrobat

The feeling of falling, jumping away

from life as I knew it, from it’s dismay

I would have felt it once and for all

Of how death feels and how one falls

Too bad I spent many years

Giving words to how my jumps feel

But when I would’ve personally seen

the one place man has never been

I shall have no lips or words to tell

The truth of heaven, the theory of hell

I would lie there watching people like me

Jump off cliffs in hopes for eternity

And there I’ll be opening their wings

Letting them fly, setting them free

Jump, jump as much as you can

Explore life till your time lasts

For the only time you will ever know

Of all the things you so desperately explore

is the time when your time will be out

The moment when death strikes your clock.

I will sit here and I will watch

As your wings will fail and time will stop

I will be here watching you

Learning answers that I had too

I will shake your hand, I will welcome you

Howdy, dead man – how do you do?

This is the after-life, time here is slow

Care for some steak? or a beer or two?

Don’t be upset, I’m sure you’re relieved

Of that shitty job and type 2 diabetes

I’m Pleased to see you on this end at last,

I was there once too, really had a blast

Tried catching up, but time went fast

Life was great…but now it’s the past…

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2 thoughts on “The Other Side

  1. MHMK says:

    Beautiful thoughts put in a beautiful way as always!

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