Greed comes with Shame

The most disgraceful of all personal moments is when GREED takes over me. It is very very rare and I feel like a complete fucking idiot every time.

So I happen to be sitting in class and land on the apple website in search for an app and here we go! Yeah the website entices me in to the world of macbooks where I am wandering like a stray cat, ravishing the sight of those gorgeous retina displays my ass doesn’t give a shit about. But anyway, my next instinct is to see how much my present macbook is worth and gives me a really sorry $390. Are you fucking kidding me?

I mean I know it’s no surprise. If there is anything that depreciates like rotten milk in this world, it is electronics. I absolutely love my macbook but here I am with my bored soul just entertaining myself with online window shopping and actually considering auctioning off my computer on ebay a month before finals week, pitching in some magical non-existent hidden money and somehow getting the $1500 retina display macbook pro. Yeah, I know. I am being absolutely ridiculous at this point.

I feel so embarassed I just had to write about it before the shame of my greed overtook my day and sent me in to an emotional spiral of self-hate. Getting a new macbook is probably the last thing I wanna do in my life, but right now I realize more than ever that consumerism is so fucking consuming. If being on apple’s website makes a person like me want a new macbook, I think there is some conspiracy going on here, believe me. I am the person who doesn’t dump her things till they STOP working. I mean hey, if it works why even bother? Hell I lived with a blackberry for one and a half year, and I have had my iphone since forever and still love it to death.

I am just so sad I fell for shit like this. I know I am better than wanting things but I guess all those glitsy macro photos and retina screens can get the best of you at times haha! No I wonder what I would do if someone gave me $1500 in cash…Hmmm…

– Travel

– Shop for my kitchen

– Cook

– Eat lots of steak

– Get a bunny

– Help someone out

– Get a gun

– Buy a cow

– Go horseback riding

– Go sky diving

– Fuck a cowboy – hey come on everybody has a price!


3 thoughts on “Greed comes with Shame

  1. Rahburt says:

    You could probably catch a cowboy for free 🙂

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