Today I am not in the mood to discuss the what-went-wrong, because honestly, can I not assign my time to it.
I guess one should not question nature’s natural elimination process, yet we are so touchy and uptight when proven wrong by time.
I was asking myself earlier in the day as to what I did wrong, wondering whether there is something about me that asks for a change. Some lost friends and many people telling me I am intimidating, aggressive and manipulating in my nature. I won’t deny the fact that I thought about it, for some time, and entertained the thought of it. It is probably my open mouth and direct nature. I have some habits that I justify keeping due to the simplicity they bring to my life. Most fake pretentious people run to the hills when they meet me because I am just too raunchy, or ill-mannered and outspoken. Good for me, because I cannot stand finesse and a tight ass hole. I do not like quiet, secretive and passive people. So if being called big mouthed, manipulative and intimidating does the trick, then so be it.
I thought about it. I thought about the people who have conveniently fell through the cracks, disappearing in to nowhere. Sometimes it’s disappointing, but hey if you look at it realistically, it only just makes room to give a chance to other friendships, relationships and connections. Any of whom which might be the one that sparks.