Within Me

A banana is what it took for me to fall in love.

I mounted it, I screwed it tight, and while I was doing it, I couldn’t help but think of the endless possibilities this thing is going to open my eyes to. I forced the others to stay for more. I played with that thing, and I enjoyed my time.

I am an impulsive person, and half the time I don’t ever have a reason for doing things. They happen because I felt like it, and just did it. Sometimes I look back and wonder why I made a choice, but then in order to cling to that thought, you must have a side of regret or misery or unsettlement. I have never harbored any of those emotions for choices I have made. I never question my choices, only the consequences they produce. Is that fucked up? I don’t know, maybe it is. Not like your opinion matters anyway.

I enjoyed the moment of bedazzlement as the numbers soared high…confirming thoughts that are always running in the back of my head. There it was – stalling, steady state, and generating lift. I was the master of the science behind it. In that banana I found a cambered airfoil, and that was enough to change my life.

I fell in love with my choice to be an aeronautical engineer today. I realized that I love what I do, and I am always thinking about something related to my work even when I am free. I go to bed thinking of buckling beams and establish boundary conditions to deflection differential equations while I am waiting for the barista to hand me the cup and the lid in the morning.

I was never like this. I never thought of work and things related to it like this. I would run far away from it as soon as I would finish my homework. But now, school has ceased to be an activity. It is not a lifestyle, or a commodity anymore. It is like breathing, or eating… School is within me.

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