I have known my fair share of people, as I am sure most of you have. It is my innate nature to observe, draw empirical conclusions and observe again. With time I have grown from a self pitying, ideology driven individual to a low life dirt bag who takes pleasure in other people’s miseries (no trace of remorse intended).
Let me get one thing straight – most people are mentally five years old. They feel deeply over shallow things, over calculate calories in their salad and their love life, make drastic measures to hang on to things that have no role in their lives, and throw a tantrum every time mommy refuses to buy a barbie. Haven’t we all been there? Of course, but as I see it, most of us are STILL there.
You see, humans are a lot like a ferris wheel, they go round and round without rest – basically making the same mistakes in life, and expecting a different outcome every time, not realizing that sitting on a second ride is gonna give the same view, the same highs and the same lows. One of the biggest things I have seen a lot of people struggle with is attachment. This relationship can fundamentally expand to a lot of things – like attachment to ideas, certain types of food, lifestyle choices, religion, societal conformation, etc. However, I’de like to reflect a little today on how people react to attachment with other people.
Over the years, I have seen a lot of people, especially my close friends, struggle with psychological attachments they developed with other people. These other people were almost always the kind of individuals who played vital roles in their lives – they provided support of an emotional or financial form, were a go-to empathetic friend in need, a role model that would secretly be hated, or simply a close relative/ loved one. I think one of the hardest things in life is to break free of the self-created delusions of your own mind. A lot of us have a way of looking at the world in a way that provides the highest amount of relief to our agonies. While a lot of people like to believe that everyone is good and take the more optimistic route, there are a bunch of people who choose to be pessimistic instead and expect the worst possible outcome in life.
In my opinion, neither of them are in any way conducive to long term sanity. Before I began the process to accept all that was wrong in my life, I strongly disliked the word “balance”. It would annoy me, sound gay and I would call it mean things in my head. Life was my way or the highway. There was never a grey area, and my moods and circumstances constantly shifted between black and white. It was a torturous way to live, with moments of my life oscillating crazily between extreme emotional distress and utmost happiness. Attachment to people played a significant role in this mono chromatic world, where people either existed as “burnt bridges” in my life or “saviors”. I definitely was void of friends or people who balanced me out in ways that weren’t fatal. The attachment I felt to both classes of people who did exist in my life was beyond words.
Picture yourself, as a five year old in a theme park with a handful of your ride or die buddies in life. The ferris wheel pulls up, but there’s only room for so many people in one cabin. You are left behind, as you see all your friends boxed in to one cabin move far, far away from you. Now feel your heart sink. That is the essence of how people view their lives nowadays, and that is exactly how they feel. Like the fucking five year old.
I think one of the biggest challenges we all at some level or another face is to accept that things are not meant to stay the same with the course of time. Consistency is a lifestyle ideology that is deeply embedded in our brains since birth by a society whose ultimate goal is to achieve the impossible. No, your life is not a flat line. Even if you choose to sit in one spot, the commotion around you will not pause. Life does not stop. Your friends, dog, pet hamster and everything you hold dear to you will sit in one cabin, while you stare upon them zooming out of your life on that ferris wheel. Some of your friends will return when the ride is over, while some others might just decide that they are better off without you. All of our lives are transcending. Someone in your life might be shifting gears quicker than you are. Life moves on for a lot of people, and that includes the ones you are attached to. Don’t be black and white, but most importantly don’t be that kids thats walks away from that ferris wheel. You can have your ride and even if the ones you love aren’t sitting in the same cabin, you can always peer out and wave to them and appreciate that they do indeed look great from a distance too.