The Guilty Conscience

Life is definitely at a turning point. I know I am doing well in my career. They picked me for the new program and it’s all hush hush at the moment. Dave said that there is no particular reason you get picked, but HR said we get picked because we’re good at what we do.

I definitely enjoy Melbourne a lot more than I did a couple of months ago. Tomorrow I am going to make chapel kababs out of the 3 lb of ground beef defrosting on my kitchen counter right now. I also need to go to the gym and then I have plans to go to the beach with my friend Melissa. Nicole might join us.

I do like my life, but there are days I feel jaded, and exhausted. What if I never learn to have faith in people. When can I stop always assuming the worst? I feel pessimism has become my second nature and I can’t do anything to change that. I want to put my trust and love in to people and there are so few who ever earn that right.

I have reached a point where I want to block all thoughts out and just do the right thing. Whether it is rewarded or not, or even reciprocated – who the hell cares?! This is what I preach to my friends too, and this is what I practice, and even though there are days when it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you can look back and say that yes, I did not wrong and there is absolutely nothing that weighs on my conscience.

You see – guilt is a mighty burden and you don’t want to live with that. Life’ purpose should be to absolve yourself and those around you of guilt. It is important to not feel guilty about your actions, and assure people to not feel guilty cz of theirs. I can’t imagine a more perfect scenario for mental harmony…

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